Online therapy for adults and couples throughout Washington State.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- “I’m competent in my career, but relationships feel confusing or fragile.”
- “I care deeply about my partner but we keep falling into the same arguments.”
- “I tend to shut down or overthink instead of saying what I really feel.”
- “I want closeness but something keeps getting in the way.”
My practice focuses on adults and couples who want to build secure, emotionally connected relationships.
Many of my clients are professionals—people in academia, technology, law, and helping professions—who are thoughtful and capable but still find relationships more confusing or difficult than they expect. Therapy can help you understand the patterns that get in the way of closeness and build more secure, supportive connections.
Couples Counseling
Do you have the sense that your relationship could be great, if you just worked some things out? Do you find yourselves arguing, distancing, or holding back from saying what you really feel? Do you sometimes feel rejected, misunderstood, or alone in the relationship without fully understanding why?
Many of the couples I see are professionals who function well in most areas of life but feel confused about why their relationship keeps getting stuck. They care deeply about each other, yet find themselves pulled into painful patterns of conflict or emotional distance. You may find yourselves repeating the same argument, shutting down when things get intense, or struggling to talk about what matters most.
Couples counseling helps you understand and change these patterns. You will learn how to slow down reactive cycles, express what you truly need, and listen to each other in ways that rebuild trust and emotional closeness. The goal is not simply better communication, but a deeper sense of safety, connection, and support between you.
My approach is trauma-informed and grounded in understanding how earlier emotional experiences shape the way we respond to the people we love. When past injuries—especially from difficult or neglectful childhood experiences—remain unresolved, they can make closeness feel confusing or risky. Part of our work together is recognizing these emotional “hot buttons” and helping each partner respond with understanding instead of reactivity.
Are you stuck in one of these patterns?
Many couples who come to therapy recognize themselves in one of these relationship cycles:
• One partner pushes to talk while the other shuts down or withdraws
• Arguments start small but quickly escalate into criticism or defensiveness
• One partner feels they carry more emotional responsibility in the relationship
• Conversations about needs or feelings feel tense or unsafe
• Both partners care deeply but feel increasingly distant
These patterns are common and understandable. In therapy we slow them down, understand what is happening emotionally beneath the surface, and help each partner respond in ways that rebuild trust and closeness.
Here are some of the areas that I can help you with:
- Breaking reactive argument cycles
- Rebuilding emotional closeness and affection
- Learning how to express needs without escalation
- Understanding the emotional patterns shaped by childhood attachment
- Repairing trust after distance or conflict
Hi, I’m Alan:
I work with thoughtful adults and couples who want deeper connection but feel stuck in emotional patterns they haven’t been able to change on their own.
My approach is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy, an evidence-based model for helping people understand the attachment patterns that shape closeness, conflict, and trust.
Start cultivating love and harmony!
Hours
Tuesday through Friday, 11am to 6pm by appointment.
Teletherapy only.
Alan Barclay, MA, LMFT
Liberation Therapy
Individual and Couples Therapy
Therapy online in Washington State
Washington License: LF61027690
Schedule a consultation:
Email: alan@liberationtherapy.net
or Phone: +1 (206) 854-7349.
A brief consultation can help determine whether my approach is a good fit.
(To read about individual therapy services, click here.)
